Good-Bye and Good Riddance, Sleepy Jeff

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Jeff Sessions has lost to Tommy Tuberville, ridding the political right of this elderly buffoon once and for all. Right-wing Twitter is going into a meltdown, of course, because Sessions says such nice things. How could Trump betray us like this? Honestly, it's sort of bewildering to see early right-wing Trump supporters not understand that the big man values execution & loyalty over ideology.

Sessions blinked when it could not have mattered more. He's personally responsible for destroying Trump's first 2 years.  If Sessions had sacked up like a man and told everyone in the FBI pushing the phoney-baloney Russia hoax to eat shit, Trump's first 2 years would have been *radically* different. Instead, he ran for his cuck shed and let the Democrats, who controlled zero branches of the federal government at the time, staff the Mueller team run the entire show for the next two years.

As despicable as Paul Ryan and Trey Gowdy are, and as much blame lies on their shoulders for failing to harness the energy of the populist wave, there is nothing could have done if Sessions told everyone to fuck off. Russia would have been out of the news in 2-4 weeks tops. The endless shrieking we were subjected to about "Putin's cock holster" would have petered out, and maybe we could have been more focused on immigration and trade. Instead, Trump couldn't even staff his administration because Jeff Sessions was a weak-willed pussy.

Trump couldn't hire staff because Mueller would immediately subpoena them and break them with legal fees, just from the investigation itself. Anyone who had been to Russia, spoken to a Russian, or played the red team in C&C was immediately disqualified. There was a lot of whining that Trump wasn't hiring qualified people. You know what most qualified people at the federal level have in common? They've talked to and interacted with other important, qualified people from nuclear powers. You know, like Russia.

Michael Flynn is personally broken because of Jeff Sessions. His finances and life are ruined. Roger Stone got railroaded over bullshit. Trump could never play FP with a full hand because his enemies propagandized hostility with Russia. Other people you basically haven't heard about were broken by the fees they had to pay to lawyers just to sit through the Mueller team's interrogation sessions.

The one man on Trump's team who could have stopped the absolute shitshow of his first two years was Jeff Sessions. He didn't, and he didn't even tell Trump about it until the deed was done. It doesn't matter if it was incompetence or malice. Trump values results. So, you know what would have been even more effective on immigration than a Senator Sessions? A Trump administration not crippled by investigations and fishing expeditions. We basically got 6 months of the actual presidency, and without the House, because of Jeff Cuckshed Sessions.

The degree to which the Trump admin has been a disappointment, at least in the actual executive branch itself, is almost entirely due to Jeff Sessions' decision to recuse out of a mix of panic, stupidity, false propriety. When Obama's flunkies told him that due to a suspected meeting that never even occurred, federal law required AG Sessions to recuse, if that doddering old fool had just taken a week hours to cool off and consult some other lawyers, everything would have been different. Choosing Sessions as AG was Trump's biggest, most momentous mistake.

If anything, Sessions is a sterling example of why choosing ideology over execution & loyalty is a dumb move 100% of the time. You need people who you can trust to sniff out rats and have your back in a fight. Jared "prison reform lol" Kushner fits that description better than Jeff Sessions. 

Remember when wignats crapped their panties over Syrian pavement? A big part of that was Sessions. Trump's early goal of normalizing with Russia was scuttled by the Collusion Hoax. Thanks to Sleepy Jeff, Trump had to walk a fine line, prove he wasn't "Putin's puppet," because his own voters started to have their doubts thanks to how relentlessly Mueller ground onward in that first year or so. Everything in this admin was a thousand times more difficult because Jeff Sessions is a weak, stupid, loser. Doesn't matter what your ideals are if you're weak.

So good-bye and good riddance, Jeff Sessions. You lost to a moderate-leaning football coach because you built for yourself a reputation as a weak dork who crumples when things get tough and leaves the people who need you hanging.